A movie to remember.

I went to Cambodia in 2005. That time I didn't know anything about Cambodia's history. I just couldn't wait to see Angkor Wat. I read about it in books, saw it in travel agent's catalogs. I knew I had to see it. It was amazing. The whole country was. Although, it took some time for me to learn that when buying something I have to start bidding for a lower price, and it was really difficult seeing beggars on the street; young children and mutilated adults. I remember I saw a men...I couldn't even tell his age, probably between 30 to 50 years old. His arm was missing and half of his face was distorted. My travel companion told me it was probably a landmine accident. I had to look away, I was horrified, I just wasn't ready. Back home in Europe, you just don't see things like this.

I started reading our guide book (Lonely Planet of course) which had a history section. That was the first time I've learned about Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. My Dad likes war movies, so I've heard the expression "the Khmer rouge" before. I figured it had to do something with communism since rouge=red in French. But I've never bothered to look it up. I wish I had.

A few days later we went to Phnom Penh and later we visited the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum and  the Killing Fields. The museum is a former elementary school. The building looks a bit similar to Japanese schools. They tried to preserve it as it was when the genocide ended. There were pictures of everyone killed there. These guys were obsessed with killing and they kept a picture of everyone they tortured to death. Young boys and girls too. There were oil paintings and some very old photographs about the tortures; how they ripped people's fingernails off, hang them by their feet from the ceiling while they were drowning as their head was in a big pot of water below. I remember I got sick. I got away from my group a bit, and found a bench outside I could sit on. I remember I'd shed a few tears silently before I went back to my all-males group. I didn't have much appetite for days. Not only the museum was overwhelming, but we went to see the killing fields right after. I remember we took a tuk-tuk and rode quite a while. This sanctuary raised with huge piles of skulls of the dead who were killed there and buried in mass graves by the regime was just unbelievable. I learned about the Holocaust and Hitler before, but never been to Auschwitz or any other such place to actually see where it had happened. I did go twice to the House of Terror in Budapest, which is to remember the victims of the Arrow Cross regime of Szálasi. Both times I got depressed for days. This wasn't different either. I couldn't help but wonder how people can do such things to each other...I will never be able to understand.

Why I remember all this today?

I saw a movie: "The Killing Fields". The movie was made in 1984 and won numerous awards. When we stayed in a guest house in Phnom Penh, I saw a few scenes of the movie in the lounge. Later, I bought the DVD as a present for my Dad. He watched it...I didn't. Honestly, I didn't have the guts to watch it. Today, it was broadcast on Japanese cable TV. I just couldn't change the channel...why now, I wonder. 

Sometimes I do wish I had the guts to leave my well-paying job here and go back to Cambodia to teach there. It would be so much more rewarding. I met some groups of school kids there and they were amazing. Not like these Japanese spoiled little brats. Their ignorance just pisses me off every single day. I'm just so tired of being surrounded by people like them, and scared to think about what kind of adults will they become. Most of the teachers are just as ignorant too. They wouldn't bother to wake up kids sleeping in the classrooms...sometimes 5-6 of them in one class. Nor scold them when they just ignore the teachers walking past, not saying good morning or anything.

Kids in poor countries want to study. They show respect toward adults, and they are not nintendo freaks. I just want to do a job that benefits other people, but here, no one cares much about what I do. The BOE sends NETs to schools with the best intentions, but at the schools we meet with ignorance, lack of respect, and a lot of  horrible students. I have to admit there are a few exceptions, but still, in total it is quite disheartening and demotivating.

I hope someday I can go back to South East Asia, especially Cambodia.

I recommend "The Killing Fields" (Gyilkos Mezők in Hungarian) to everyone. It is certainly not easy to watch, but we have to know, and we have to remember.